For My Brother

I spent my early teens to now thinking that i’ll never be like them

My father, your father, and all the hopeless men

But you’re locked away somewhere upstate

And i’m here twiddling my thumbs

I’ll be the first to admit I failed you

And it eats at me every single day

I can’t help but thinking

Maybe if I was there more

Maybe if I didn’t leave

Maybe if I didn’t view you as a burden

Maybe if I wasn’t so damn selfish

You wouldn’t be where you are now

I’m no better than my father or any other men that sin

I’m mortal and oh so flawed

I feel my heart beat out of my chest and sometimes pray it just stops for good

I just miss you and don’t know what else to do

I’m just like you

Everytime you hear “I love you”

It leaves an uneasy feeling in your stomach

Like something isn’t right

I just hope you sleep well tonight

Things will get better

They say it just takes time